I must say, I have been waiting all year for October...it's going to be a crazy busy month!
This morning I woke up, and was just a wreck. I am so emotional today I can't even tell you the half of it. James climbed into bed with me like he always does and it hit me that this is the month that we are welcoming our second son. I have been dealing with this guilty feeling - about having another baby and taking time away from James, and what not, but today - I let it all go. I realized that he is going to be ok. He will love his baby brother and he will not hate me. I went through this and I was fine. Today, a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
As we cuddled in bed, I told James that I loved him very much and that he will always be my baby. He put his arm around my neck and said "I love you too Mummy" and then fell back asleep. Pure bliss. Not to mention tears!
I hit 37 weeks this week, which is amazing as once Wednesday rolls around I can have my home birth. My midwife came for a home visit on Saturday which was great - as it put my mind at ease. I feel a lot better knowing they know where to find me! My blood pressure is perfect, my belly had a slight growth spurt since last week. I was at 35.5 cm and on Saturday measured 37 cm. Another pound was gained - so I am now 171 lbs. Which for me is amazing considering I gained 50 lbs with James.
She did however have a hard time finding what position he was in. She took a good 15 minutes feeling around, moving him around and whatnot. Finally, he shifted and she found his backside. She felt down near my pelvis and came to the conclusion that he was WAY in there. Which makes me feel a lot better. Movement has slowed a little bit, but I feel like his movement is more deliberate - like he's making his way down knowing it's almost time.
We went over the birth kit and the little extras and what we will be doing with James. I'll do another post about that after!
Chris' birthday is this Wednesday, so we will be celebrating that! Then we have Thanksgiving (for us Canadians) Then on the 10th it's my Mother in Laws birthday as well.
Then the next BIG event is Graham's arrival. I really don't think I will go that long. I have been having mild cramps and contractions but they always subside and go away. I have A LOT of pelvic pressure and I think... I THINK I lost a bit of my plug today, but I can't be sure cause I never saw it with James lol. TMI sorry! As I am typing this I am experiencing slight cramps in my right side that are moving right across my belly. The Braxton Hicks contractions have been more intense and I've been going... well to the bathroom more than normal.
Secretly I am hoping to go into labor on Wednesday - I plan to have a big dance party in the kitchen to see if that gets things going!
I started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I've been wanting to read it but just kept forgetting about it. Well...I now have it and I do not want to put it down. All the birth stories are so amazing and I am reading them thinking - "Oh, that's what I want!" and I am trying to make a mental note about certain things that may or may not help me while I'm in the zone.
I am really hoping to finish the book before Graham gets here. Also hoping it teaches me something new.
So, I am welcoming October with open arms and am ready for everything that will happen this month. Life is going to change again, and I couldn't be any more excited... I think.
Hello October! I've been waiting all year to see you!