Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A not so Wordless Wednesday...sending a Birthday wish to heaven

Today he would have been 52. But he would have said that he was 29. He's been 29 since he turned 30! I would have asked him to come over for dinner. I would have made potato pancakes (his favorite and the one and only recipe I cannot perfect!!) He would remind me that I needed extra garlic and a lot of butter.. and sour cream.

Well today I will make his potato pancakes, I'll remember the extra garlic and will not forget the sour cream. The only thing that will be missing is him. "Who's him" you ask.. My Dad.

He passed away November 4 2008. Just six month shy of his 50th birthday. And all I can say, is that his passing came right out of left field. I had not spoken to him in nearly six months. And to this day the only regret I have is not answering the last phone call he would ever make to me.. on my birthday. I was very messed up after his death. I put on a face and a demeanor that looked like I was OK.. but inside I was screaming. I was very depressed...very very depressed. I finally got out of my funk when I learned i was pregnant with J. He was conceived on this very day back in 2009. Hehe.

My sisters and I try to get together every year on his birthday and on the anniversary of his death to celebrate his life. Both days consist of tears and laughter... funny stories and great food. But we all feel like there's something missing and truth be told there is. He's missing. And no matter how many years pass, or how healed we are..there will always be one empty seat.

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you

"I just wanted to wish you a very Happy Birthday Daddy. I wish I could tell you that I love you very much and one day we will meet again. But until then, please keep watch over us and remember that we all love you and miss you so much."